Pacific Division Round Up: Saved By the Bell Style

The Pacific Division has to be one of the most puzzling group of teams this year, but as a fan nobody is complaining. Two perennial little brothers are consistently winning, jockying for position as king of the house. The big brother of the group is turning into the big brother with alot of potential that now still lives at home, one brother could be getting kicked out and forced to move elsewhere(or maybe he’s living willingly to work as a barista?), and then their is the other brother, that, well, nobody really cares about.

(Is Lisa wearing jean bicycle shorts? Dear god the 90’s were a scary time.)

 With the temperatures in Pick and Pop’s hometown of Boston continue to stay cold, the Pacific reminds us of the summer right around the corner. And well, when you think summer, you have to think beaches. And when you think beaches, you think babes. And when anyone thinks babes, they think Kelly Kapowski. That is why we are going to play “If a Pacific Team were a Saved By the Bell” character. Because I miss Kelly, and I also miss Zach a little too.


 Los Angeles Clippers: 29-9, 7-3 Last 10
-The Clippers are the cool kid on the block. They are winning all of the games they are supposed too, and even winning games no one expected too. The Clippers have seven players with a PER of over 15, and five guys are averaging double figures. This is the definition of a team, and they are only getting stronger. Grant Hill is returning sometime in the next week barring a set back, meaning a second line full of proven veterans is only going to get stronger. At this point, the Clippers getting anything less than a 3 seed has to be a disappointment after the start they have had.
 
Saved By The Bell comparison: You would think Zach Morris, but you’re wrong. It’s AC Slater. Any real SBTB fan knows Slater came in strong, moving into Bayside after coming from a military base with his father. He was the new kid on the block, and completely took over, making Zach Morris pretty jealous. You could say last year was the Clippers moving in, and this year is them winning the state title in the wrestling championships. (And yes, that is me making a title pick in January. Judge me.)

(You’re telling me Blake Griffin can’t pull off an AC?)

Golden State Warriors: 23-13, 6-4 Last 10
-The Warriors have come back to earth a bit, struggling against some of the better teams in the West. Still, to be ten games above .500 at this point is a huge win. Steph Curry has taken a huge leap now that he is finally the featured guy in the backcourt, and Jarrett Jack could be the MVP. The backup PG is averaging career highs in points, assists and rebounds(11,5,3), and is shooting better from beyond the arc. Those stable minutes when Curry is off the floor has allowed this team to play it’s starters less and have better fourth quarters. 

Saved By The Bell comparison: It has to be our girl Kelly here. They are the hot new team on the block, that everyone is becoming fans of. It’s fun to cheer for them, it’s fun to watch them, and every time they do something new you fall deeper and deeper. Let’s just hope they don’t break our hearts, I really would like to see Kelly in the summer…..I mean the Warriors in the playoffs.

Los Angeles Lakers: 16-21, 3-7 Last 10
-The Lakers have been working very hard to get better. At excuses, that is. First it was the injuries, then it was the schedule, now it is the team defense. We mentioned earlier in our power rankings that Kobe is going to be featured different on the D, but just how much is that going to change things? This team is running out of time to turn it around, and can’t stop anyone from scoring. They are the only team in the league to have a positive +/- with a losing record, so offense isn’t the problem. The next ten games will be telling. If they are still under .500 at the all-star break, you have to wonder if Kobe will be calling for heads. Will it Pau’s? Dwight’s? One underlying story here, if the Lakers do make a run and grab a low seed, they could easily face the Clippers in round one.

Saved By The Bell comparison: Jessie Spano, specifically the caffeine pill episode. It’s alot of pressure trying to stay on top as long as the Lakers have.

(Remember when this was considered edgy TV? Tell the Game of Thrones writers that.)



Sacramento Kings: 14-24, 5-5 Last 10
-Demarcus Cousins leads the Kings in points, assists, rebounds and steals. Points and rebounds makes sense, but the fact that your selfish center is leading your team in being unselfish is a big issue. The Kings should be on the market for an actual point guard, and one with leadership experience. Even Jose Calderon and his bloated contract might be worth a three month tryout. Sactown is 25th in rebounds, 27th in assists, and last in points per game. Yet none of these problems are the biggest issue in Sacramento, because this team doesn’t even know where to call home next year. Could Seattle be a fresh new start? Will Seattle even accept them?

Saved By The Bell comparison: Nikki Coleman. Who is Nikki Coleman you ask? She was one the original Saved by the Bell characters, which was called Good Morning, Miss Bliss. Nikki was one of Zach’s classmates, yet never returned. Similar to what may happen to the Kings.


Phoenix Suns: 13-27, 2-8 Last 10

-The Suns are the doormat of a division that has a team whose only good player has no intention of staying there. Oh yeah, the team has no intention of staying there either. Their is no legitimate scorer on the Suns, as Goran Dragic leading the team at 14.1 PPG. This is the lowest team leader in the West. The Suns are just 2-11 in their last 13, and have five double digit losses in that span. Even worse, watching this team is just plain boring.

Saved By The Bell comparison: Screech. It was just too easy. They can’t get out of their own way.

-Bford

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