One Month Into The Season And Pierre The Pelican Is The Scariest Mascot In NBA History

pierre the peli

I know, I know.  NBA Mascots aren’t supposed to make sense.  For instance, the Phoenix Suns have a gorilla.  A gorilla is probably the least practical mascot for the city of Phoenix, but sometimes a guy performing singing telegrams keeps showing up to the arena and you eventually make him your permanent mascot.  True story, that happened.  It’s okay to suspend belief and allow yourself to think outside of the box.  Except when you actually try to create a human-pelican hybrid that looks 0% pelican and 100% scary.

Pierre is a monster, plain and simple.  He came from the underworld and wants nothing more than to eat all of our children.  See, look:

pierre children

He appears to gain more strength when you scream, Pelicans fans.  Kind of puts you in a bind if you paid good money for a ticket, but also don’t want to get eaten by a crazed pelican monster.

pierre4

He’s also not very discreet.  One second you’re interviewing Pierre and the next you’re being eaten on live TV.

pierre1

Pierre has also explored the film industry.  By “explored” I mean he ate “IT” the clown and the girl in “The Ring.”

pierre2

pierre3

Clearly Pierre has to reel back the whole scaring everyone and eating children thing, but overall I think this was a good first month for him.  Any publicity is good publicity.

Right?  RIGHT?!

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